Look, Liverpool have the best record against the top six of any
team in the Premier League. Manchester City hired the most famous manager in
the world, and have not one but two guys named Jesus. Manchester United bought
the most expensive player ever. Arsenal haven’t finished outside the top four
in two decades. But alas, it’s poor, bumbling Tottenham, with the sixth highest
wage bill, and the youngest squad in England, who have truly “bottled it” by
not winning the title they were never favored to win. Spurs, who won NINE
consecutive league matches to give themselves a fighting chance of catching
league-leaders Chelsea in the first place, are somehow losers again for
achieving their highest ever league points total, their most ever league wins,
and likely their best ever Premier League finish.
This isn’t Steven Gerrard birthing a million “slip-up”
memes, it’s a team playing its fourth consecutive London derby, coming off the
emotional catharsis of finally, finally
canceling St. Totteringham’s day and simply running out of gas against a West
Ham team who right now literally care
about nothing more than beating Tottenham. It’s a team that in the past
three seasons has gone from dreaming about top four and staying out of the
Europa League to making serious runs at the gotdang league title in consecutive
years.
I’m told their manager, Mauricio Pochettino, has never won
anything. He must be a real zero to finish ahead of Pep Guardiola, José
Mourinho, Arsène Wenger and Jürgen Klopp. If Pochettino is a choke artist, what
the hell are these guys? Spurs “bottling it” is a false narrative built on
false expectations that no one can recall actually having until this past
Friday. But nothing gets the pundit class all aflutter like the image of silly
old Tottenham falling on their faces.
